Day Fifteen: His Pursuit of God
Sometimes we live so close to our
spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband’s faults.
Today, take a step back. Look for ways that he is pursuing God and living a
life of faith. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to
appreciate!
How can you encourage his growth in
a fresh, new way? Remember, your husband is accountable to God for his
spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder
that growth.
Action Step: Look for expressions of
faith.
Can you identify an area of
spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly?
Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church
with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can
identify a specific area, praise him for that.
If you can’t find something to
praise, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of
spiritual growth in the future.
A Wife’s Prayer
Lord Jesus, more than anything else
I want my husband to have a fruitful and growing relationship with You. Give
him a desire for knowing and honoring You in every area of life. Forgive me for
ways I have criticized his faith walk instead of encouraging him to pursue You.
Thank You for loving him more than I do and wanting to be in relationship with
him.
Day Sixteen: Your Life Companion
Then the Lord God said, “It is not
good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” —Genesis 2:18
God says that it is not good for man
to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may
long for solitude! Companionship and togetherness are foundational pieces to a
healthy relationship.
God has made you a companion and
helper for your husband, and part of being “one flesh” with him is the
privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for
that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you and being
your companion in this life.
If your spouse does not value you as
his life companion as you wish he would, look for ways that he tries—smiling at
you, asking questions, nodding his head when you speak, and so on——and then
thank him for it. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to
communicate. Women are often more naturally relational than men, so this may
come easy for you. Be patient with him . . . and continue to pursue him as your
life companion.
Action Step: Be his life companion.
Seek your husband as your life
companion. Share the little things and the big news with him first. Make a
point to plan time together, whether that’s an outing or time alone together at
home. Affirm the ways that he is your best friend and how you are happy God has
given him as your life companion.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, although my
relational needs can only be met fully in You, I want my marriage to be all
that it should be in this area. Would You grow us in companionship? Teach me
how to value my husband as my closest friend and confidante. Thank You for my
husband and the ways he does reach out to me.
Day Seventeen: The Home that Wisdom
Builds
The fear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. —Proverbs 9:10
Are you a wise woman? Do you open
your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26 suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman
encourages her husband.
Is your husband a wise man? Does he
have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in
obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your
home? Tell him how much this means to you. If your husband is not walking with
God—or perhaps, does not know the Lord—you have the opportunity and
responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God
for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep
praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum.
Action Step: Catch (or inspire!) the
vision.
If you are not sure about your
husband’s vision for your home, ask him, “Honey, what do you want to accomplish
with our marriage and home in the years to come?” and “How can I help you
accomplish that?” If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him
to develop one!
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, I long for our home
to be built by Your ways and Your wisdom. Please pour out Your heart upon our
marriage, that we might be a force for Your Kingdom work in our family,
neighborhood, and community. Make our home a place of refuge and life, a place
that honors You in all Your ways.
Day Eighteen: Show Your Playful Side
A joyful heart is good medicine. —Proverbs 17:22
Let me ask you a question: Do you
have fun with your husband? Life is full of serious things—decisions to make,
tasks to complete, work to do . . . and it can take all the joy out of our
relationships. Are most conversations with your husband serious and
task-centered? That’s a sure recipe for concocting a negative and critical
spirit toward him. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy
him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of
that joy with your husband.
Does your husband have a playful
side? A great sense of humor? Is there a “little boy” that wants to escape from
time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who
he is and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and
his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times.
If your husband can sometimes be
overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him
relieve stress and relax.
No matter which one of you leans
toward the serious side, fun is needed to infuse joy into your relationship.
Action Step: Do something fun.
Think of something lighthearted for
you and your husband to do. Fly kite, go for a bike ride, do an art project,
play charades, make silly faces—whatever you can think of to show your playful
side!
A Wife’s Prayer
Lord Jesus, so many times the
pressure of life gets the better of me and I take everything so seriously. Help
me to take joy in life, to be quick to laugh and find humor. Infuse Your
eternal joy in our hearts and make our marriage a place where we have fun and
laugh together.
Day Nineteen: Fearfully and
Wonderfully Made
When you look at your husband, what
do you see? Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide
shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile? Whatever his physical size, shape,
or characteristics may be, the way you see him has a profound affect. Almost
nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him
repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands’ bodies.
Have you ever considered how
wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the
standards of the world—a loving God designed them all, and they are all
beautiful in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his
uniqueness.
Criticism leaves scars, but
encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your
30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge.
Action Step:
As you look over your husband’s
body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your
husband is “wonderfully made,” then admire your husband verbally.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, today I praise You
for the way You knit my husband together. You do all things well, so show me
the beauty of my husband’s physical form and teach me to be tender with the
body You’ve housed him in. Forgive me for criticizing Your work and for
aligning my expectations with our current cultural standard. Put in me a spirit
of acceptance and love for the uniqueness of my husband.
Day Twenty: Time to Dig out Those
Bitter Roots
Be kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. —Ephesians 4:32
It’s time for some heart
examination. At this point in the 30-day challenge, it’s possible you’ve found
some roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your
husband.
Do you understand that as long as
you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God’s grace and in His power—you
will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the
way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes you’ve stored up
against him. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.
Is your husband a forgiving man?
Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for
such a man. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could
there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for
an offense?
No matter how your husband handles
his heart, you are called to freedom from bitter roots. Take time today to dig
them out and remove what’s contaminating your relationship with your husband
and with the Lord.
Action Step: Start digging.
Spend time in prayer, asking the
Lord to show you the roots of bitterness in your heart. Make a list of them,
asking God to forgive you for your resentment. Then choose to forgive your
husband and recommit to encouraging him for the remainder of the challenge with
a clean heart.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, I have sinned
against You in my judgment and resentment against my husband. Forgive me for
taking Your place and refusing to love. Fill me with love and compassion for my
husband. I choose to walk by Your Spirit for the remainder of this
challenge—please help me to be the wife You long for me to be.
Day Twenty-one: Living for the
Kingdom
But seek first the kingdom of God
and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. —Matthew 6:33
If we are living in light of
eternity, everything we think, do, or say is seen from an eternal perspective.
Only two things will go into eternity—the Word of God and people. Be sure that
you are focusing on the right things.
Does your husband have an eternal
perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express
your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal
things before riches and other things of this world.
If this is a problem area for him,
consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in
front of him, encouraging him to do the same. We will someday give an account
for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that
your words will be sweet and helpful, encouraging your husband to live for
God’s Kingdom.
Action Step: Put your treasure in
heaven.
Assess any habits or patterns in
your life that are not placing a priority on God’s Word and people. Make
adjustments so that God is honored and your home is more focused on the
Kingdom.
A Wife’s Prayer
Lord Jesus, I want to be a wise
steward, investing in eternal things. Help me to adjust my thinking and
priorities so that our home is a centered on Your Kingdom values. I want to
live in such a way that my husband is encouraged to seek You and Your Kingdom
even more.
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