My Husband Doesn't Want Sex

If your husband stops wanting to have sex with you, the first thing that usually goes through your mind is that he is having an affair. But there are a lot of reasons a husband could loose his sex drive beside having an affair. And it's happening more and more (or at least people are willing to admit it more). 

First, I believe that both men and women should yearn to make love since God created with sex drives. However, in general, men’s sex drives are more physically urgent. When they don’t get sexual release, their bodies will actually do it for them during the night periodically. And men are much more visually stimulated than women are. They are supposed to be aroused fairly easily, because it gives them an impetus to really pursue women.

Therefore, a man with a low or no sex drive is not healthy at all and is a sign that something is not going right.

Here are some reasons your husband may not want to have sex with you -- besides having an affair. 

1.  Hormonal issues (i.e Low testosterone levels): Believe it or not, this is pretty common. Experts seem to think it has something to do with our polluted environment. Not to mention that testosterone levels drop with age. Get your husband to check his. If he has low testosterone, he won’t desire sex as much. But low testosterone can also be caused by other physical problems, like diabetes or even some medication. The problem with this category is that because he doesn’t feel the need for sex, he likely isn’t upset about it, and so it can be difficult to get him to talk to a doctor about it. Low testosterone can also be caused by addictions to alcohol and drugs. The good thing is that this category is the easiest to fix–if you can get him to talk to a doctor.
    
2. He Feels less than a man: When a man is having issues with his self esteem and depression, if he isn’t sure of who he is, isn’t sure of his purpose, and isn’t sure of his role, he could easily have no sex drive.A man’s sex drive is all wrapped up in his concept of manhood. When he feels like a man, he’ll want to make love. But if he doesn’t feel like a man, he won’t. When your husband is having serious challenges with his career, may be loss of job or an overbearing boss, pressure from peers etc. As a wife you ought to be sensitive to know when he is in this kind of situation and he should always get assurance from you. Encourage him in every way possible so that he does not degenerate to depression.
   A husband who has very low motivation for anything, doesn’t get excited about much and isn’t very involved with his children all these and much more could be signs that something is going wrong with his self esteem.
   When you look at his life, you can see that he doesn’t seem to have a “will” to do anything. And if he is rarely affirmed in anything. He is rarely told that he is doing a good job at anything. And so he was never sure if any decisions he made, or any steps he took, were the right ones. So he simply stopped taking any. To anyone on the outside he just looks extremely lazy, there’s more going on there. He could be fundamentally scarred.
   A man can have his masculinity scarred in other ways, too. The root to his scars lie in his family of origin; but even within a marriage he could not feel like a man. Please watch how you talk to your husband. So many women constantly pick at their husbands, constantly correct their husbands, and I don’t even know if they realize they’re doing it. Make sure that most of the things that come out of your mouth about your husband or to your husband it is positive. Even if you’re talking about resolving some conflict, do it in a positive way. Do not browbeat your husband.
   Also, if you’ve had an affair in the past, or even if you were sexually active before marriage, your husband may feel that he can’t measure up. And that can cause some men to stop being able to perform, because they’re nervous. Finally, if you spent years in the marriage withholding sex from your husband, he can shut down. If you’ve now decided that you want to change and you want to make love again, he may have a very difficult time making that adjustment.
   
3. He is nervous about his performance:Finally, there’s a category that’s a combination of #1 and #2. Let’s say that a man is nervous about the relationship and nervous about whether or not you really love him. One night you make love, and he can’t keep his erection. A week later it happens again. He was already feeling nervous; he was already feeling slightly humiliated within the relationship. Then erectile dysfunction hits, or perhaps premature ejaculation, and it becomes too much to bear, and he shuts down. Or perhaps it wasn’t the relationship that was causing him to question his manhood; maybe it was his ability to earn a living. When a guy is unemployed, or feels like he can’t support the family, he already feels like he’s not a man. If he then can’t make love, it can become a vicious spiral, where he’s afraid of trying again because he doesn’t want to fail, so he just shuts off.
   And then the wife feel humiliated. They feel as if they must be freaks, because everywhere else in our media it says that men are desperate for sex. Why don’t their husbands want them?
   The message that I want you to take from this is that it likely has little to do with you. If your husband doesn’t want to make love, it’s often an issue within him, or within how he experiences the relationship, far more than it is an issue about whether or not you are desirable.
   Know that you are not alone, and know that it is becoming a problem that is increasingly more common. Hang in there!
   
4. Something else has got his attention:The category that is rising the most right now are men who are not interested in sex within marriage because they’re getting release elsewhere, especially with pornography. A man who is using porn will slowly find that it consumes more and more of his life, and more and more of his sexual energy. Porn rewires your brain to tell you that what is arousing is a picture or an image, not a real, flesh and blood person. And you often need more and more porn and more extreme porn to give you the same high that you felt when you started using it.
   When men use porn, in general they masturbate as well. And so it becomes quite likely that eventually they will stop desiring their wives in the same way. That’s why the idea that porn can be exciting in a marriage is so off base. Porn steals the natural desire you have for each other, so that you stop desiring each other. Sure, you may get aroused by the porn and then act it out with each other, but that’s not really making love anymore. The source of the desire was the image in the porn, not the person you made love to, and you’re still thinking about that image while you’re with your spouse.
   
   Now, it’s not just men who use porn; a lot of women are into porn as well. But an overwhelming majority of men had sought out porn, and it is hurting many marriages.
   If your husband has a really low interest in sex, and you can’t figure out a reason for it, verify that he isn’t watching porn. Check his computer and his phone, and have a talk with him about it. 
   If you’re in this situation, what specifically would you like to know? And do these categories resonate with you?
   Drop your comments and lets share. (Anonymous comments are also welcome)

Five sure ways to Get your Husband to help around the house more

A newly married young lady was venting her abundant anger about the bumbling, lazy, irresponsible behavior of men in general, and her own husband in particular. This is the first impression she paints of the man with whom she has vowed to spend her life. In fact, she was insisting he go to the doctor for a hearing test. She was quite certain the man was deaf. 

Survey shows that 46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more." Not angry or frustrated, but irate. Both partners loose when this type of interaction becomes routine. The woman ends up feeling perpetually disappointed, and she's resentful that she has been put in the position of a nag cum slave since every house chore fall on her shoulders. The man feels belittled, and he's weary hearing her complains and of being on the defensive against his wife. They find themselves wondering how their relationship came to this. Where is the kind and nurturing woman he married? Where is the dependable, stand-up guy with whom she fell in love?

Here is a list of things that would help:

 1 . Behave Respectfully: Even If You Don't Feel Like It, One of the truly unfortunate aspects of my newly married friend blabbing about her husband was the profound lack of respect for the man she once admired enough to marry. In essence, she called him an idiot. Publicly. It was downright rude. Mutually respectful behavior is important because it sets the tone of the relationship. It is like the strings section of a symphony. The music simply cannot be complete without it. I know what some of you are thinking because I've had similar thoughts. "Why should I make the first move? HE is the one behaving like a jerk", "Frankly, I'm just too angry to be respectful" etc. Yes, we feel like that at times but refusing to make the first peace offering in your relationship may feel righteous in the moment, but it is one of those behaviors that almost always achieves the opposite of our desires.
Being respectful will resurrect the man you fell in love with. 
Your husband has a need to feel that he is the head, the provider, the protector, the leader. Accord him that courtesy and he is most likely to cherish you and in turn you will help around the house even without you asking for it.

2. Give him his precious freedom:When he feels free, he is more open to new ideas suggested in a relaxed and fun conversation where there is no pressure. Never allow him to feel pressured to do anything no matter how you desperately want him to do it. Since men have a great need to feel freedom, if a wife really wants her husband to improve or do certain things, there are ways to get him to do this without nagging, the wife can be creative with this and it can be done in such a way as to make him think it was his idea. It is important for men to feel their freedom and that they make the decisions in the marriage. Nagging makes him rebellious not only because he feels his freedom and security are taken away but also because it gives the impression that you don’t trust him as a leader and this makes him feel less of a man as it is part of his precious masculine pride.

3. Ask for help: This is where some women fail it. They carry the whole baggage of chores around grumbling that they do not get help when actually they never asked for it. Learn to tell your husband exactly what you want him to help you with and don't make it sound like it has become his duty to do that particular chore. Ask in a sweet tone. Like: oh my, I don't want the kids to be late to school today, honey please help me dress them up while I pack their lunch and yours.....and be sure to say thank u even when he pretends not to hear your thank you. Don't repeat your request, he actually heard you the first time. 

4. Appreciate him. A steady diet of praise for the things he does well can motivate him to overcome his weaknesses and be a better man. Appreciation can help a man grow to a higher potential. It also makes him behave better which makes for a better marriage for both of you. 
 
5. Make him volunteer to help: This is just a new addition to my list of how to get him to help around the house. I will use an illustration to demonstrate this. My husband loves vegetable soup and it takes time to prepare because of the time spent in picking the vegetables, so i would normally start out like this: "honey, I would really love to make you vegetable soup dis weekend but I am still thinking of how to get my self organized since there are many things that need my attention." As soon as he hears this, leave the rest to him because he will make sure nothing stands in the way of him getting his vegetable soup. He will plan the chores himself and actually choose the tough ones, finish them early and join me in picking the vegetables. This is just one of my many examples and I am certain you will find a way of making your man volunteer to help around the house.

Week 2- On Husband Encouragement Challenge

Day Eight: Planting Faithfulness

But a faithful man who can find? —Proverbs 20:6

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments.

Consider the ways your husband displays faithfulness—how he is loyal to you, how he honors the Lord, how he continues on in his work and ministry. Begin to praise him for being faithful and praise God for helping him to remain true to his commitments.

This area will be difficult for you if your husband is prone to break his word or act unfaithfully toward you. Know that the Lord is near the brokenhearted, sustaining you in whatever pain you’ve experienced. Be sure to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple who can help you respond biblically. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. 

The Bible says that husbands “may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (1 Pet. 3:1).

Whatever your circumstance, your challenge is to root out all negative speaking toward your husband and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow!

Action Step: Plant Seeds of Faithfulness

Plant seeds of faithfulness into your husband’s heart by praising his integrity and loyal actions. Write him a note expressing how much it means to you that he has honored his marriage vow.

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, cultivate within my husband a faithful heart, one that longs to beat with integrity and flow with sacrificial love. Show me how I can plant seeds of faithfulness through my actions and attitudes toward my husband, and help me to wait on Your harvest in his heart.

Day Nine: Take Time to Listen

Be quick to hear, slow to speak. —James 1:19 

We are often so busy speaking that we don’t take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment—negative or positive—that we don’t really hear our husband’s heart. Remember, we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more!

As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord’s admonition today: “Be quick to hear.”

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more—not only to God, but also to him.

Action Step: Learn something new.

One easy way to give focused attention to your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys and then listen to his response. If it’s an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn’t know, then tell him, “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, open my ears to hear—truly hear—my husband. Teach me to patiently pursue his heart by asking probing questions. Awaken my curiosity for all the unspoken things hidden as treasure in his heart and soul. Help me to honor what he shares with me and never use it as ammunition against him.

Day Ten: Remember: You Chose Him

Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful. —Song of Songs 1:16

We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved, pursued and special. When’s the last time you remembered everything you admire about your husband? Early love letters probably reflected that admiration! But if we’re not careful to verbalize our admiration, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him.

And when we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring and remembering why we chose that person in the first place! As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, “How can I admire him?”

Action Step: Count the ways you love him—then tell him.

Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic or something else? Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easygoing confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him! If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse.

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, I confess that it is often easier to criticize than admire. Please forgive my critical spirit and free me to remember all the things that nudged me to choose my husband in the first place. Remind me of things I’ve forgotten, and even point out things I’ve been blind to. Loosen my tongue to speak words of admiration and renew in me a deep, passionate love for my husband.

Day Eleven: The Power of Respect

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. —Ephesians 5:22

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.

Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Is it his ability to plan, lead, show mercy, mediate peace, or delegate? Does he keep things organized or invest in others? If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership “as to the Lord.” Part of showing respect includes submission to his authority: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Eph. 5:23).

Action Step: Demonstrate respect.

Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together. Seek his opinion on decisions you need to make or conversations you need to have with others. Tell him that you need his support, insight, care, and love.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, I have had trouble in the past respecting my husband. Forgive me for the ways I have not honored the marriage structure you created. Help me, Lord, Jesus, to grow in respect and to practice showing respect so that our marriage is a vibrant picture of Your relationship with Your Bride, the Church.

Day Twelve: Heart Check

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2

Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?

Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Pro. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it’s simply that we expect too much in some areas.

Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.

Action Step: Release him from overly demanding expectations.

Spend time in prayer, asking the Spirit to search you and know your heart for any unreasonable or unrealistic expectations you are holding over your husband. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing, and release him from any overly demanding expectations the Lord has shown you.

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, search my heart for any ways I’ve been expecting too much from my husband. Help me to come to You with my unmet needs; teach me to not hold my husband’s failings against him. Soften my heart so that Your grace is at work.

Day Thirteen: Don’t Settle for a Passionless Marriage

I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. —Song of Songs 7:10

If you were to describe your sexual relationship, would it you say it’s passionless or passionate? The health of your sexual relationship is one of those determining elements—along with money and children—that can make or break a marriage. Many women struggle with the sexual component in their marriage, settling for passionless. But God intended marital intimacy to be a vibrant and regular expression of love.

Let’s get practical here. Is your husband a good lover? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you.

There are many common areas of struggle that women face. For example, in moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband.  Many women have exacerbated their sexual struggles through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. Wherever your marriage falls on the passion scale today, seek God’s help for growing the passion in this all-important area.

Action Step: Show some passion.

Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways. Demonstrate that your desire is for your husband and that you want to spend time with him.

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, no matter how I have struggled in the past, I don’t want to settle for a passionless marriage. Make me healthy and whole in this area; free me from wrong thinking and release in me a great desire for my husband.

Day Fourteen: A Man of Integrity

The righteous man walks in his integrity. —Proverbs 20:7

Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It’s so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful, and genuine. As you continue in the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture.

Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Genuine in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them.

Action Step: Strengthen the hedges in his heart.

Pray regularly for your husband’s sense of integrity, that he would be sensitive to the Spirit in all his ways. As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband’s honesty and integrity with others. Your prayers and compliments will serve to strengthen the hedges of morality he has in his heart.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, would You make my husband’s heart more sensitive to Your Spirit? Let him be aware of weak spots in the hedges around his heart. Show him how to walk in integrity by fortifying his resolve through prayer, accountability, and right choices. Protect him from evil. Show me how to praise him and encourage him to stay strong in his actions

Let the Challenge Begin: Week 1

Sorry ladies, I had technical issues over the weekend but all is resolved now.

I am so glad, you decided to accept the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge to encourage your husband! Your decision means that you truly want to be a blessing in your home. This challenge will also result in spiritual growth in your own life.

I'd like to encourage you to keep track of what God does in your marriage over this next month. I hope you’ll take time to share what God does in your home as you bless and encourage your spouse.

 Your Major Challenge: For thirty days, don't say anything negative to or about your husband. Also, say something positive to and about your husband each day.
We are going to be taking the challenges weekly so here is week 1:

Day One: Voice Your Gratitude

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. —Proverbs 31:11–12

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for choosing you above all other women? He found you attractive as a person and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God brought you together and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.

Action Step: Say it out loud.

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a wake-up call that he’ll never forget—a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!”

A Wife's Prayer

Heavenly Father, I want to do good to my husband by encouraging him for the next thirty days. Soften my heart to the ways that he has chosen me. Show me how to voice my gratitude for him, and teach me how to be in his corner.


Day Two: Look for His Servant’s Heart

Through love serve one another. —Galatians 5:13

How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you’re off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up—start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.

Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a “Honey Do” list!

Action Step: Praise his servant’s heart.

Maybe your husband’s not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.

A Wife’s Prayer

Jesus, You call us to lay down our lives in service to others. Show me the ways my husband serves others and You, and let me be quick to heap praise upon him for the ways he loves You by serving others. Empower him to respond to the needs he sees; give him a heart that puts others first.


Day Three: Cultivate Patience toward Your Husband

Love is patient and kind. —1 Corinthians 13:4

Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.

If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender.

Sometimes it’s difficult for a man to be gentle, kind, or tender—especially if he hasn’t had role models in these areas. If he’s not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it’s hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don’t insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude.

Action Step: Adjust your expectations.

Ultimately, you can’t expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, protected, and so on. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, You alone are my Shelter and Refuge, my Provider. Help me to lean into all that You promise to be for in Christ Jesus so that I do not place unreasonable expectations upon my husband. Forgive me for expecting my husband to read my mind and know my unspoken needs. Give me courage and humility to ask for the help I need and then voice gratitude for whatever assistance my husband offers.


Day Four: Praise Your Husband’s Work

Let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands. —Ephesians 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both the negative and the positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here’s a suggestion that touches the core of your husband’s world.

Some women take their husband’s career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you dump on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

Action Step: Praise him for the work he does.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you’ll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career—such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, or determination . . . or having an analytical mind or organizational skills . . . or being good with people or a good listener.

A Wife’s Prayer

Jesus, I thank You for the way you’ve shaped and gifted my husband for the work he is able to do. Help me to support his work and praise him specifically for what he does. Plant in him a vision for how his gifts will build Your Kingdom and serve others. Impress upon him the desire to be faithful with his gifts, using them fully. Protect him from discouragement, stress, dishonesty, and sluggishness so that all he does might bring praise to Your name.


Day Five: Get hold of Your Tongue?

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. —Ephesians 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge is by using the word edify, which means “to build up.” Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.

Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to do with family members.

Action Step: Tell your family why you love your husband.

Do you praise your husband to his relatives and yours? Does your husband’s mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him—in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

A Wife’s Prayer

Jesus, I confess that I have spoken negative words about my husband. I ask for Your forgiveness; I ask for Your power to cut off the corrupting power of what I’ve said in the hearts and minds of those who heard me. Prompt me to speak praise and goodness about my husband, to build him up and plant grace about him in the hearts of others.


Day Six: Praise His Creative Efforts

Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. —1 Corinthians 10:31

Is your husband the creative type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special knack he has? Affirm him for his handiwork—a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, and so on. Remember, even if he doesn’t measure up to your standards, praise his efforts.

If you have a hard time finding his creative side, understand that men’s creativity is sometimes related to their work. Find something he does exceptionally well to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent.

Action Step: Praise his creativity.

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband’s creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Make his day—praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, show me how You have wired my husband to reflect Your creative heart. Teach me to be an encouragement as he uses his gifts and talents to solve problems, serve others, and advance the Kingdom. Thank You for revealing Your creativity through my husband, for Your glory!


Day Seven: United on the Financial Front

Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven.. —Proverbs 23:4–5

Granting an inheritance to those who love me, and filling their treasuries. —Proverbs 8:21

Money is the root of much marital discord. Too often financial stress causes couples to abandon unity and see each other as the enemy. Scripture tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood; we must fight to maintain a unified front. Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases—checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward before the Lord?

If he longs to honor God by being a good steward, let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters. If this is an area of weakness for him, pray about how you can support his growth. Encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he’s open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.

Action Step: Strengthen Your Financial Front

Whether your husband is strong or weak in financial matters, you can strengthen your financial front by encouraging what he does well and giving grace where he’s weak. Ask yourself: Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances? Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, help me to rest fully in You in the area of finances. Teach me to praise and encourage and help, rather than criticize and complain and hinder. Please strengthen our financial front and grant us unity in financial decisions. Bless my husband with a tender heart that longs to honor You with everything we own, and grant him wisdom to dedicate all resources for the Kingdom and the Gospel.

My husband is such a jerk

 A woman says to her pastor "My husband is such a jerk, I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to divorce him".

The pastor says "After all the things you've told me, I can understand how you feel. I have a great idea. Show him just what he'll be missing when you're gone. For the next 30 days treat him like you're madly in love with him. Then when you tell him you're leaving, he'll really be sorry".
"Oooooh, that's good!" says the woman.
2 months later the pastor sees the woman with her husband. She sneaks over to him for a moment and happily says, "My husband is a changed man! Our marriage is better than ever! I wouldn't trade him for anything now."

So here's the thing:
For the next 30 days, we are going on a Husband encouragement challenge.
Every day, you will visit this blog and drop your comments, discoveries, experiences, woes etc. Just to encourage and be encouraged by other gals.

You will also get a daily Action-step i.e what to do for the day and daily wife prayer/scripture. 
See you there.........