Christian Sex Rule

   When it comes to sex, most married Christians just do what works for them. If they have been blessed enough to have discovered something that brings satisfaction, pleasure, closeness, and climax, they most likely will continue that practice. However, some are plagued with guilt because they wonder if what they're doing is sinful.

Because there are some specific sexual behaviors that are forbidden in scriptures, this article will try to shed light on the most common sexual practices and how they relate to the word of God( the bible) and our christian life.

1. Fornication: This is sexual intimacy between two unmarried people. The bible expressly condemns this practice. "1 Thessalonians 4:3 - For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:"
2. Adultery: Sexual intimacy between a married person and anybody other than his/her spouse. It could be between two married persons who are married to other individuals or between a married person and an unmarried person. The Bible also expressly condemns this. 
   "Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
3. Multiple Partners,Threesome, foursome etc: Sex is neither a spectator sport for group indulgence nor an event to test a person's ability to score with multiple partners. Casual sex as a way to prove one's prowess or with multiple partners simply violates all of God's intention for sexual experience. Apart from the fact that multiple partners can breed infidelity, create mistrust, performance anxiety, and comparison evaluations that are barriers to the deepest levels of intimacy. The bible talks about sex only for the husband and wife.
4. Masturbation: This is the excitation of the sexual organs by oneself, most often to the point of orgasm. This perhaps one of the most debated and least resolved sexual subjects in the church. Even though masturbation is a grey area in the bible which means that the word does not appear in the bible, one of the beauties of our faith is that God did not leave us alone when Jesus went back to heaven. He sent us the Holy Spirit to guide and help us in our christian walk and decisions. In my research on this subject , I have come across the works of several men and women - christians and non-christians alike but i have come to one conclusion which is that their arguments end lamely when placed side by side with Gods standard of holiness and purity. Masturbation is a sexual sin and should not be practiced by Christians. Like all sexual practices outside marriage, it is the defilement of one's body and spirit. Masturbation also violates Gods law of being self controlled. We have a full article coming up soon on Masturbation. See you them.
5. Homosexuality: Sexual intimacy between persons of the same sex. The bible say this practice is contrary to sound doctrine. "1 Timothy 1:10 - for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine"(NIV), "Romans 1: 26-28 - For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: ²⁷ And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
   ²⁸ And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;"
6. Bestiality: A person having sexual relations with an animal. The Bible refers to this as pervasion or confusion. "Leviticus 18:23 - Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion."
   
   
   
    

My Husband Doesn't Want Sex

If your husband stops wanting to have sex with you, the first thing that usually goes through your mind is that he is having an affair. But there are a lot of reasons a husband could loose his sex drive beside having an affair. And it's happening more and more (or at least people are willing to admit it more). 

First, I believe that both men and women should yearn to make love since God created with sex drives. However, in general, men’s sex drives are more physically urgent. When they don’t get sexual release, their bodies will actually do it for them during the night periodically. And men are much more visually stimulated than women are. They are supposed to be aroused fairly easily, because it gives them an impetus to really pursue women.

Therefore, a man with a low or no sex drive is not healthy at all and is a sign that something is not going right.

Here are some reasons your husband may not want to have sex with you -- besides having an affair. 

1.  Hormonal issues (i.e Low testosterone levels): Believe it or not, this is pretty common. Experts seem to think it has something to do with our polluted environment. Not to mention that testosterone levels drop with age. Get your husband to check his. If he has low testosterone, he won’t desire sex as much. But low testosterone can also be caused by other physical problems, like diabetes or even some medication. The problem with this category is that because he doesn’t feel the need for sex, he likely isn’t upset about it, and so it can be difficult to get him to talk to a doctor about it. Low testosterone can also be caused by addictions to alcohol and drugs. The good thing is that this category is the easiest to fix–if you can get him to talk to a doctor.
    
2. He Feels less than a man: When a man is having issues with his self esteem and depression, if he isn’t sure of who he is, isn’t sure of his purpose, and isn’t sure of his role, he could easily have no sex drive.A man’s sex drive is all wrapped up in his concept of manhood. When he feels like a man, he’ll want to make love. But if he doesn’t feel like a man, he won’t. When your husband is having serious challenges with his career, may be loss of job or an overbearing boss, pressure from peers etc. As a wife you ought to be sensitive to know when he is in this kind of situation and he should always get assurance from you. Encourage him in every way possible so that he does not degenerate to depression.
   A husband who has very low motivation for anything, doesn’t get excited about much and isn’t very involved with his children all these and much more could be signs that something is going wrong with his self esteem.
   When you look at his life, you can see that he doesn’t seem to have a “will” to do anything. And if he is rarely affirmed in anything. He is rarely told that he is doing a good job at anything. And so he was never sure if any decisions he made, or any steps he took, were the right ones. So he simply stopped taking any. To anyone on the outside he just looks extremely lazy, there’s more going on there. He could be fundamentally scarred.
   A man can have his masculinity scarred in other ways, too. The root to his scars lie in his family of origin; but even within a marriage he could not feel like a man. Please watch how you talk to your husband. So many women constantly pick at their husbands, constantly correct their husbands, and I don’t even know if they realize they’re doing it. Make sure that most of the things that come out of your mouth about your husband or to your husband it is positive. Even if you’re talking about resolving some conflict, do it in a positive way. Do not browbeat your husband.
   Also, if you’ve had an affair in the past, or even if you were sexually active before marriage, your husband may feel that he can’t measure up. And that can cause some men to stop being able to perform, because they’re nervous. Finally, if you spent years in the marriage withholding sex from your husband, he can shut down. If you’ve now decided that you want to change and you want to make love again, he may have a very difficult time making that adjustment.
   
3. He is nervous about his performance:Finally, there’s a category that’s a combination of #1 and #2. Let’s say that a man is nervous about the relationship and nervous about whether or not you really love him. One night you make love, and he can’t keep his erection. A week later it happens again. He was already feeling nervous; he was already feeling slightly humiliated within the relationship. Then erectile dysfunction hits, or perhaps premature ejaculation, and it becomes too much to bear, and he shuts down. Or perhaps it wasn’t the relationship that was causing him to question his manhood; maybe it was his ability to earn a living. When a guy is unemployed, or feels like he can’t support the family, he already feels like he’s not a man. If he then can’t make love, it can become a vicious spiral, where he’s afraid of trying again because he doesn’t want to fail, so he just shuts off.
   And then the wife feel humiliated. They feel as if they must be freaks, because everywhere else in our media it says that men are desperate for sex. Why don’t their husbands want them?
   The message that I want you to take from this is that it likely has little to do with you. If your husband doesn’t want to make love, it’s often an issue within him, or within how he experiences the relationship, far more than it is an issue about whether or not you are desirable.
   Know that you are not alone, and know that it is becoming a problem that is increasingly more common. Hang in there!
   
4. Something else has got his attention:The category that is rising the most right now are men who are not interested in sex within marriage because they’re getting release elsewhere, especially with pornography. A man who is using porn will slowly find that it consumes more and more of his life, and more and more of his sexual energy. Porn rewires your brain to tell you that what is arousing is a picture or an image, not a real, flesh and blood person. And you often need more and more porn and more extreme porn to give you the same high that you felt when you started using it.
   When men use porn, in general they masturbate as well. And so it becomes quite likely that eventually they will stop desiring their wives in the same way. That’s why the idea that porn can be exciting in a marriage is so off base. Porn steals the natural desire you have for each other, so that you stop desiring each other. Sure, you may get aroused by the porn and then act it out with each other, but that’s not really making love anymore. The source of the desire was the image in the porn, not the person you made love to, and you’re still thinking about that image while you’re with your spouse.
   
   Now, it’s not just men who use porn; a lot of women are into porn as well. But an overwhelming majority of men had sought out porn, and it is hurting many marriages.
   If your husband has a really low interest in sex, and you can’t figure out a reason for it, verify that he isn’t watching porn. Check his computer and his phone, and have a talk with him about it. 
   If you’re in this situation, what specifically would you like to know? And do these categories resonate with you?
   Drop your comments and lets share. (Anonymous comments are also welcome)

Choosing your Baby's Gender

  Most couples who are trying to conceive would be quite happy to get pregnant regardless of the sex of the child. Given this fact, please keep in mind that attempting to influence the sex of your baby through timing intercourse may increase the odds of your baby being one gender or the other; but by restricting intercourse to just certain dates, you may in fact decrease the overall odds of simply conceiving during any given cycle. So if you are trying to conceive first time, I advice that you leave the gender selection to God.

There are many baby gender selection techniques available but I will be writing about the two which I at least understand since I am not an authority in this field. I have also seen people who recorded success using these two methods together.

1. Shettles method

What it is: Timed intercourse on specific days of your cycle.

Effectiveness: Shettles proponents claim the technique is 75 percent effective, but other experts are doubtful. Keep in mind that you always have about a 50 percent chance of conceiving the sex you want.

How it's done: The theory is that sperm bearing a Y chromosome (for boys) move faster but don't live as long as sperm that carry X chromosomes (for girls). So if you want a boy, the Shettles method contends, you should have sex as close as possible to ovulation. If you want a girl, you should have sex two to four days before you ovulate.

Pros

• Requires no drugs or invasive medical procedures.
• Free or low cost.
• Relatively safe.

Cons

• You may use an ovulation predictor kit to figure out when you're ovulating, or chart your basal body temperature to estimate the best time to have intercourse.
• There's no guarantee of success.

Availability
Anyone can try it.

2.  Gender Prediction Using Chinese Birth Chart

Is it going to be a Boy or Girl?? This Chinese Birth Chart will help you find out. To use this Birth Chart for gender prediction, you need to know your exact Chinese Age and the month of conception.

How to Use the Chinese Birth Chart

The Chinese Birth Chart is easy to read and interpret. Follow the steps given below to predict your baby's gender using this Chinese pregnancy calendar.

• Find out your Chinese age at the time of conception. Chinese age is different from your actual age. Click here to find your Chinese Age.
• If you have already conceived, find the Chinese month of conception on the upper row of the Chinese birth chart. Then go to the Mother's Age on the left column.
  The month of conception in Gregorian calendar can be converted to Chinese month using our Chinese Year Convertor
• Find the intersection box where the vertical line drawn from month of conception and a horizontal line drawn from mother's Chinese age meet.
• If it says Boy then most probably you're expecting a baby boy and if it says Girl, the chances are more for a baby girl.

For example, according to the Chinese birth chart, a 28 year old (Chinese age) woman conceiving during the 5th month (Chinese month) is expected to give birth to a Girl child.

Who should reach orgasm first, man or woman?(Husband Only)

It’s not news that many men today can start and finish with sex in just a few minutes. While countless married women take longer time to get aroused and become properly prepared (physically and emotionally, it eventually takes ages for them to reach orgasm. But reaching orgasm and ejaculating at the desired time is always a question married men and women want answer to. Who should reach orgasm first, man or woman? Actually, anyone could be the first to climax. But men being what they are on bed, desire to climax with their wives together or admire it when their wives get there first. The feel of watching their wives display is a sexual thrill for them.

There are two things couples should take into consideration:  one, husband should know the right moments when to speed his wife up and slow himself down and number two is getting familiar with the trick of prolonging sex. I can assure you that if you follow my advice, you and your wife  will have a happy ending, because you will be able to deliberately delay your ejaculation while your wife will climax fully.

One way to increase a woman’s speed of reaching orgasm is while kissing her, make sure you nibble on her neck a little bit longer. Most often ignored, the woman’s neck is both nerve-packed, highly sensitive and nothing turns up the heat for a woman like the feel of a man’s lips on her body. You can also fire up the titillation by taking turns to kiss her in different body parts. This usually takes her out of her comfort zone and gets her ready for some passionate expectation.  You can experiment with more creative ways of bringing her to the brim of orgasm by rubbing your lips against her nipples, sweep them along her belly button and even gently brush your face against her cheeks, for more intensified arousal. Drag her tongue into your mouth slowly and then suck gently on the tip. This playful twist on a typical kiss will send currents of electricity between her legs. 

Most women like an amount of pressure when they are kissed. While you are fully concentrating on this, you will be amazed that your ejaculation speed will slow down because you are fully focused on something else.

To ensure she climaxes before or at the same time with you start stimulating her clitoris as soon as possible. While the attention is more on her, slow yourself down and erotically speed up the clitoral stimulation. No woman has ever resisted this. To aid caressing and arousal, add a few drops of some natural lubricants on your fingers and use them on the clitoris to the virginal lips down to the inner part of her thighs. Experts report that circular stimulation, starting slow and building up the speed, is most effective. At this point, encourage her to hold firm the base of your manhood and at the same time apply some degree of pressure on it to help resist premature ejaculation. When handling your manhood, she should maintain a soft touch and keep her strokes closer to the base where you are less sensitive. Also, convince her to vary her moves: you’ll love the shifting sensations so much that you won’t notice you’re skipping the steady friction that makes you ejaculate prematurely.

If you are able to achieve this, go ahead  further and arouse her by inserting your pointer and middle fingers into her vagina with your palm facing the ceiling, and then rest your chin in the palm of your hand. In this position, you can move your fingers in a come-hither motion to massage the front wall of her vagina (G-spot territory!) while teasing her clitoris with your tongue. Remember the rule of the game is that you have to slow yourself down. To light your fuse without triggering an unexpected explosion, your wife should only kiss and lick your penis, not suck it (otherwise, it feels too similar to being inside her). Showing your testicles a little love will also give you mega pleasure without pushing your ejaculation button. Now during intercourse, both of you should agree on ‘girl-on-top’ position and this grants her total control of the speed, angle, and depth. This is 100 per cent best for speeding up her orgasm. Instead of moving her hips up and down, which will bring you closer to the brink of ejaculation, she should slide them back and forth so that her clitoris is rubbing against your abdomen. Don’t be shy about getting involved and pushing up hard or increasing the speed. She’ll love the intensity. Finally, remember long thrusts are the husband’s orgasm’s best friends, so keep them to a minimum.

Credit:  FUNMI AKINGBADE

Tips for achieving orgasm

At the start, achieving orgasm is always an uphill task for lots of women. In fact if not properly guided, the woman might begin to think its unachievable while many others cannot even tell if they have ever experienced it or not. In this article we'll touch every thing that is necessary for you to know if you have already achieved orgasm before and how to get there if you have never.

Everyone can orgasm, but not everyone does. Coming' isn't all that easy - if you're a woman! Nearly all MEN can climax without difficulty, but women just aren't built that way. For a man sexual intercourse alone, that is, penetration of a woman's vagina by a man's penis may be sufficient to climax. But it very often is not enough to make a woman reach orgasm.

What is Orgasm?

 Orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual passion. It is the moment of intense pleasure, which results into feeling relaxed and at ease. The female orgasm lasts a few seconds, followed by a feeling of relaxation and pleasure. Continued stimulation may also result in further orgasms, which though is difficult for females of certain age group. 

When you have an orgasm you're likely to feel an electric rush which starts inside your vagina/clitoris and spreads outward. You'll likely notice flushing of your chest, neck, and possibly your face. Your breathing will be rapid and shallow. There will probably be a series of rapid pulsations in your vagina as the muscles contract and relax again. And, it will be followed by the most incredible feeling of "release." Also the vagina feels extra soft succulent, you just know you've gotten to the highest height of pleasure possible in life.

Having an orgasm is a lovely feeling. You're entitled to it. But it's not easy to do if you're uptight, tired, stressed or unhappy in your relationship.

Achieving Orgasm

Woman on top position

Even though Somoza explains that it still needs to be a joint effort, Levin adds that when the woman is on top, she is in control of the depth and motion as well as having easy access to her clitoris for pleasure. She can move back and forth thereby allowing the man's belly to caress her clitoris instead of the up and down pump which enhances the male orgasm. This way she slows down the man's orgasm and concentrates on hers thereby allowing the man time to fondle and caress her breast/nipples. This does the magic for a lot of ladies.


Speak up
You need to become confident in telling your partner where the gold is. Simply saying "up," "down," "more" or "left" probably won't cut it. You need to be really specific with regard to location, speed and pressure so that he provides the stimulation to your clitoris that actually stimulates you.
Some men do not really understand what it is with women and touching, you must teach your man this and exactly how you want it. He should learn to enjoy the act of caressing your breasts and also consider doing it while he is inside of you. Your breasts, no matter the size, have an impressive network of nerve endings that create a playful erogenous zone. Further, stimulation of the nipples can result in an extra release of oxytocin, "the love hormone," which will enhance your orgasm.

 Relax! Unwind
Relaxation is key. Unlike men who can have sex and reach orgasm anywhere, any time, any place, under any conditions, women are wired differently. If you aren't relaxed and detached from the stresses of the day, your chances of achieving orgasm are significantly decreased. Therefore, determine what calms you -- be it candles, a hot bath, deep breathing or a glass of wine -- and then commit to getting in that relaxed zone before attempting to reach that coveted "O."

 Create your "O" environment
You need a space that breathes sensuality to you. Experiment with different types of music, lighting, videos in the background, mirrors and so on. Creating an atmosphere that turns you on will make you feel equally inspired and at ease.

Time out
Often, a woman feels guilty that, as her partner is attempting to help her climax or she is trying to do it herself to finish simultaneously with her partner, it is taking a "long time." Well first off, know your facts: The average male takes five to 10 minutes to climax, whereas the average female takes 15 to 20 minutes. So sit back, relax and know that it is going to be awhile.

Let gO!
Sex is meant to be a natural intertwining of two energies. If you are stiff or are concentrating intently on the possibility of an orgasm (or lack thereof), your body will fight climax and actually begin to produce less natural lubricant, making the goal harder to achieve. So, just lie back and slip into the moment, allowing your mind and body to accept the natural gift of orgasm.

How to Get in the mood in 5 mins

It often happens that you are just not in the mood for sex and your husband is totally heated up. He's the one who asks for sex and you're the one who refuses. It might be happening because you must be tired and stressed out or you might be bugged by his begging for sex or just that you do not want sex. After a while, The whole process becomes so boring that you don't even think about whether you want to say no, you just say it - partly because you feel like he's begging, and it bugs you. Sometimes you just give in - have sex just to please him - and this is even worse. You feel used. He feels like you're doing him a favour or just being nice out of pity and he feels insulted. And most important is that neither of you feels the least bit romantic.

 Fact: Men have a biological head start when it comes to being ready for sex while It takes a woman 15 minutes to reach the same level of arousal that a guy reaches in three.

Following are a few stimulation techniques that will help you get in the mood in 5 minutes:
 

Stimulate yourself
Create seduction rituals that turn you on. Try to figure out what exactly turns you on and don't wait for your hubby to do it for you. Many women feel sexier when they wear a particular kind of nightie or let their minds drift in clouds of scent. Take a warm water bath, relax yourself, give yourself sometime for preparation and do things that turn you on.
Take matters into your own hands
The quickest, most direct way to make yourself want him is to ignite yourself so much that he really won’t have to do any chasing but give you his best. A good, steamy fantasy will get you in the mood. The only problem is that good fantasies aren't so easy to generate when you're not really interested in sex. The better way out is watch a romance video or read something that will ignite you. I don’t encourage sex movies cos they can be dirty and even get you off the mood. Keep a few strategic books in the drawer of your nightstand for help. Go to bed early and work yourself up for the moment. Fantasize and think very passionately of your hubby, think of the very best of your sex episodes and how you enjoyed them - just enough to become aroused. Then invite him to join you. Maybe you'll tell him what you've been doing, and maybe you won't. But this will solve the entire problem.

Encourage him to seduce you
Some women get bugged listening to the whining and begging for sex especially when they are not in the mood and their husband is turned on and demand sex. My advice is don't let it get ugly. Be frank and tell him that you do not like that. If he's forgotten how to seduce you, he needs a refresher course. Encourage him to be more verbal, to say not just 'you turn me on' and ' I want to have sex' but tell him to be more expressive. Tell him to say why you turn him on, how you turn him on and how he would prefer to have sex. Encourage him to make efforts to ignite you and this process can be fun for both of you.

Do some chores together
If you are a working woman then by the time you finish your work at the end of the day you are absolutely tired and you feel nothing but want to go to sleep. Your desire of sex just dies in your daily routine work - office, kids and household chores. In such circumstances what you can do is encourage him to help you around, tell him how it turns you on when you do things together. Just having your hubby help you out will turn you on.

Go ahead and do it
Sometimes just doing it will get you moving on. You feel like you don't want sex, but once you go for it, it becomes fun. In fact, you will feel ecstatic. Sometimes, having sex even when you don't feel like it is the best thing you can do.

 Take notice when your husband is playing with the kids                                                   According to Dr. Kerner, many women report being more interested in sex after seeing their partner spend time with the kids. "It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective—knowing your husband is a good dad will validate and stimulate those reproductive urges. It's a win-win situation!"

 Hold your spouse tight—for at least 30 seconds "no touching below the belt"         

Your body will not be able to resist this. "Studies have shown that, especially in women, when you hug your partner for 30 seconds or more, it produces oxytocin, which is the hormone that facilitates trust and a sense of sexual connection and desire," says Dr. Kerner. While you're there, he recommends, nuzzle into the crook of your partner’s neck and take a few deep inhalations. "If you like your hubby's scent—and most women do, for biological reasons—it will usually function as a bit of an aphrodisiac."

According to Dr. Kerner, "the brain is your biggest sexual organ. You can't just rely on the physical stimulation of sex; you also have to take advantage of the mental power." Activate the Sex Time Mode in your brain, cos if it doesn’t agree with you all your efforts are going to be in vain