It often happens
that you are just not in the mood for sex and your husband is totally heated
up. He's the one who asks for sex and you're the one who refuses. It might be
happening because you must be tired and stressed out or you might be bugged by
his begging for sex or just that you do not want sex. After a while, The whole
process becomes so boring that you don't even think about whether you want to
say no, you just say it - partly because you feel like he's begging, and it
bugs you. Sometimes you just give in - have sex just to please him - and this
is even worse. You feel used. He feels like you're doing him a favour or just
being nice out of pity and he feels insulted. And most important is that
neither of you feels the least bit romantic.
Fact: Men have a biological head
start when it comes to being ready for sex while It takes a woman 15 minutes to
reach the same level of arousal that a guy reaches in three.
Following are a few stimulation techniques that will help you get in the mood in 5 minutes:
Following are a few stimulation techniques that will help you get in the mood in 5 minutes:
Stimulate yourself
Create seduction rituals that turn you on. Try to figure out what exactly turns you on and don't wait for your hubby to do it for you. Many women feel sexier when they wear a particular kind of nightie or let their minds drift in clouds of scent. Take a warm water bath, relax yourself, give yourself sometime for preparation and do things that turn you on.
Take matters into your own hands
The quickest, most direct way to make yourself want him is to ignite yourself so much that he really won’t have to do any chasing but give you his best. A good, steamy fantasy will get you in the mood. The only problem is that good fantasies aren't so easy to generate when you're not really interested in sex. The better way out is watch a romance video or read something that will ignite you. I don’t encourage sex movies cos they can be dirty and even get you off the mood. Keep a few strategic books in the drawer of your nightstand for help. Go to bed early and work yourself up for the moment. Fantasize and think very passionately of your hubby, think of the very best of your sex episodes and how you enjoyed them - just enough to become aroused. Then invite him to join you. Maybe you'll tell him what you've been doing, and maybe you won't. But this will solve the entire problem.
Encourage him to seduce you
Some women get bugged listening to the whining and begging for sex especially when they are not in the mood and their husband is turned on and demand sex. My advice is don't let it get ugly. Be frank and tell him that you do not like that. If he's forgotten how to seduce you, he needs a refresher course. Encourage him to be more verbal, to say not just 'you turn me on' and ' I want to have sex' but tell him to be more expressive. Tell him to say why you turn him on, how you turn him on and how he would prefer to have sex. Encourage him to make efforts to ignite you and this process can be fun for both of you.
Do some chores together
If you are a working woman then by the time you finish your work at the end of the day you are absolutely tired and you feel nothing but want to go to sleep. Your desire of sex just dies in your daily routine work - office, kids and household chores. In such circumstances what you can do is encourage him to help you around, tell him how it turns you on when you do things together. Just having your hubby help you out will turn you on.
Go ahead and do it
Sometimes just doing it will get you moving on. You feel like you don't want sex, but once you go for it, it becomes fun. In fact, you will feel ecstatic. Sometimes, having sex even when you don't feel like it is the best thing you can do.
Create seduction rituals that turn you on. Try to figure out what exactly turns you on and don't wait for your hubby to do it for you. Many women feel sexier when they wear a particular kind of nightie or let their minds drift in clouds of scent. Take a warm water bath, relax yourself, give yourself sometime for preparation and do things that turn you on.
Take matters into your own hands
The quickest, most direct way to make yourself want him is to ignite yourself so much that he really won’t have to do any chasing but give you his best. A good, steamy fantasy will get you in the mood. The only problem is that good fantasies aren't so easy to generate when you're not really interested in sex. The better way out is watch a romance video or read something that will ignite you. I don’t encourage sex movies cos they can be dirty and even get you off the mood. Keep a few strategic books in the drawer of your nightstand for help. Go to bed early and work yourself up for the moment. Fantasize and think very passionately of your hubby, think of the very best of your sex episodes and how you enjoyed them - just enough to become aroused. Then invite him to join you. Maybe you'll tell him what you've been doing, and maybe you won't. But this will solve the entire problem.
Encourage him to seduce you
Some women get bugged listening to the whining and begging for sex especially when they are not in the mood and their husband is turned on and demand sex. My advice is don't let it get ugly. Be frank and tell him that you do not like that. If he's forgotten how to seduce you, he needs a refresher course. Encourage him to be more verbal, to say not just 'you turn me on' and ' I want to have sex' but tell him to be more expressive. Tell him to say why you turn him on, how you turn him on and how he would prefer to have sex. Encourage him to make efforts to ignite you and this process can be fun for both of you.
Do some chores together
If you are a working woman then by the time you finish your work at the end of the day you are absolutely tired and you feel nothing but want to go to sleep. Your desire of sex just dies in your daily routine work - office, kids and household chores. In such circumstances what you can do is encourage him to help you around, tell him how it turns you on when you do things together. Just having your hubby help you out will turn you on.
Go ahead and do it
Sometimes just doing it will get you moving on. You feel like you don't want sex, but once you go for it, it becomes fun. In fact, you will feel ecstatic. Sometimes, having sex even when you don't feel like it is the best thing you can do.
Take
notice when your husband is playing with the kids According to Dr. Kerner, many women report being more interested
in sex after seeing their partner spend time with the kids. "It makes
sense from an evolutionary perspective—knowing your husband is a good dad will
validate and stimulate those reproductive urges. It's a win-win
situation!"
Hold
your spouse tight—for at least 30 seconds "no touching below the
belt"
Your body
will not be able to resist this. "Studies have shown that, especially in
women, when you hug your partner for 30 seconds or more, it produces oxytocin,
which is the hormone that facilitates trust and a sense of sexual connection
and desire," says Dr. Kerner. While you're there, he recommends, nuzzle into
the crook of your partner’s neck and take a few deep inhalations. "If you
like your hubby's scent—and most women do, for biological reasons—it will
usually function as a bit of an aphrodisiac."
According to
Dr. Kerner, "the brain is your biggest sexual organ. You can't just rely
on the physical stimulation of sex; you also have to take advantage of the
mental power." Activate the Sex Time Mode in your brain, cos if it doesn’t
agree with you all your efforts are going to be in vain
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