We’ve all had those times as wives
where the sharp, hurtful words spew out of our mouths faster than expected, so
fast that we didn’t even have time to think first, and then that deep sense of
regret soon follows. Those times when you wish you had a back space button so
you could take back all the hurtful words you said.
One of the things I learnt when I first got married and of course from my hubby was that “WORDS ARE SEEDS”. Once the words are
said, it’s impossible to take them back. Believe me this statement have kept me
in-check and I know it will help someone here.
When we are careless with the kind
of words we speak to our husbands irrespective of the issues at hand, it
gradually breeds in us the “Nagging Wife Syndrome” and makes our husband give
less attention to whatever we have to say, no matter how reasonable they may
be.
The “Nagging Wife Syndrome”,
a condition where the wife feels like the husband never listens to what she is
saying, and where the husband feels like all the wife says is the same thing
time after time, and each one never listens to the other.
Have you ever seen this scripture: “Better to live on the roof than
share the house with a nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:9
Since our husband already gets
pressured from the outside world be it work or life in general. He expects his
wife to be his secure haven. When you nag, all he seems to hear you screaming
is: “you are not good enough for me!”
and his sense of security is taken away. It can hurt his inner most parts and
lead to feelings of frustration and over time, resentment toward you as his
wife and it breaks down communication in the marriage. With the resentments,
angry feelings, conflict and arguments he may become rebellious.
Men value their freedom very much,
even in marriage he appreciates a wife who gives him freedom to be who he wants
to be. Men are usually wise enough to
want what is best for them but they don’t want to be pushed.
Since men have a great need to feel
freedom, if a wife really wants her husband to improve or do certain things,
there are ways to get him to do this without nagging, The wife can be creative
with this and it can be done in such a way as to make him think it was his
idea. It is important for men to feel their freedom and that they make the
decisions in the marriage. Nagging makes him rebellious not only because he
feels his freedom and security are taken away but also because it gives the
impression that you don’t trust him as a leader and this makes him feel less of
a man as it is part of his precious masculine pride. He is the head of the home
and the leader in the marriage.
The “Nagging wife syndrome" is a habit
that is not easily broken and incase you are already caught in this here is a
book that will help you out:
by Stormie Omartian
The first thing that you need to do
as a wife is to accept your husband. Acceptance is very hard especially when
there are things that just get on your nerves. Acceptance means to accept him
as a human being who is part virtue and part fault, to stop focusing on his
faults and to look to his better side. It also means you will have to accept
the fact that he may not change.
So if you really want him to change, try the
following:
1. Give him his precious freedom.
When he feels free, he is more open to new ideas suggested in a relaxed and fun
conversation where there is no pressure.
2. Appreciate him. A steady diet of
praise for the things he does well can motivate him to overcome his weaknesses
and be a better man. Appreciation can help a man grow to a higher potential. It
also makes him behave better which makes for a better marriage for both of you.
3. Respect him. Never belittle him,
criticise him or make him feel less of a man. You will be doing your
relationship and marriage a disservice. Your husband has a need to feel he is
the head, the provider, the protector, the leader. Accord him that courtesy and
he is most likely to cherish you and in turn you will live in a happy marriage.
No comments:
Post a Comment